Sweet Temptation

Temptation. A sneaky word. It exudes endless amount of excitement with a hint of guilt and misery at the end. It is akin to the sweetness of chocolate with a bitter after taste. You want to have it. Taste it. Lick it to its core. YET, you also do know that you might or will (depending on the gravity of the situation) feel guilty afterwards when you’re done (let’s pretend you have diabetes). The thought lingers in your mind like a fly that refuses to die. What will you do? Smack the sneaky bug? Or let it live and terrorize you? Should you or should you not grab that cunning chocolate?

This post was inspired by the movie ‘Too Young to Marry’ that was shown on 8tv last Thursday. Jessica was a young wife who got acquainted with a guy at her university. Long story short, she grabbed the ‘chocolate’ but only managed to kiss it. She did not strip the chocolate naked. She got back to her senses. She smacked the fly thanks to Mom.

‘Whether you’re married or not, there will always be temptation. The trick is to recognize it for what it is and avoid it’.

Best check the expiry date before anything else.

Dumbfounded

Insensitive
is what I have achieved
after 21 years of nice and
attentive.

The reason I wonder constantly
For words of my love
affects me deeply.

Back and Forth

They say memories of your past would flash through your eyes as those very same eyes slowly close signaling the end of your time on this lovely earth. Ironic isn't it? Now, I have no intention of waiting for 'that' day to come just so that I could have a glimpse of what I have done all of my life, which is why I think of the past (and the future of course) whenever I can. And besides, I don't think I would even have a chance to reflect on my past if, let say, I die by way of getting hit by a bus. Don't think there would be time for any 'reflection session'.

Nowadays, my thoughts on the past and future is mostly balanced I think. Inspiration can be gained from traveling back and forth these two places. Sometimes you more than that. You get a good laugh at yourself thinking of the things that you've done or the things that you might do. You do a little bit of fortune telling for yourself. Ha ha. Nothing wrong with a little bit of imagination ;)

The past would always be there to remind you and to teach you. The future? Well, it excites you as you have no idea what on earth you'll be getting yourself into. At least that's what I think. My mother asked me today how long will it be before I finished uni. ' A year and a half... And I feel like I don't know anything,' I said. She laughed her heart-out, a trademark of hers. 'That's a very good answer,' Ha ha. Well, yes, I do feel clueless sometimes. I feel like I haven't learned anything. But as I look back through my 20 years of living, I think I have learned and gained something. It's probably not much but at least there's something. Wonder what the future has in store for me. Time to get the crystal ball out again.

Poor Lin Dan

We were discussing about why certain products do well in some countries and why others don't in Copywriting class the other day. The subject was 'Why Milo did well in Malaysia but not in China?' The Chinese preffers Ovaltine compared to our all time favourite drink. Why is that? Apparently, it's because Milo is associated with sports and sports in China is not something that they look higly upon.

'Mothers in China want their kids to go to the best schools and succeed in life. Sports is an alternative to those who are not doing so well (to put it nicely)' my lecturer said.

Ovaltine in China is marketed as 'brain food' which is why Chinese mothers buy Ovaltine. They want their kids to be smart. I see. So sports are for dummies? The first thing that came to my mind is this fella down here. Poor Lin Dan. Maybe he didn't get enough Ovaltine. Probably drinks Milo instead.

Limelight Seeking

Now, I have absolutely no problems with limelight seekers (they amuse me somehow) so long as they walk the walk and talk the talk. Besides, a little bit of 'showing off' or to put it in a more milder language, 'flashing of remarkable qualities or skills to the whole world' is much, much needed if you want to survive in this troubling and competitive era. Otherwise, you'll be irrelevant and would be relegated to the background along with those who are deemed erm... normal and you would soon be forgotten because well, there's nothing special about you. In other words, you don't stand out. (Ah, I remind me of myself). Which is why I don't see anything wrong with limelight seeking (I love how it sounds. Don't you? :P). In fact, I respect them as they have the gutts to say 'You know what?I can do this' and they actually proove it. It's those who boast about something utterly minuscule or something that they actually know nothing about that I laugh at. But isn't it possible that these boasters' real intention is actually a harmless one? Perhaps they just want to share information. Let's study the case below.

My friend and I were told to meet our lecturer to discuss about an extra subject that we were suppose to take. He briefly eplained to us the nature of the subject as well as the necessary assignments that we were suppose to do. Before we ended our short 'meeting' he told us that his class is a small one and that it mainly consists of VIP's offsprings. An interesting point no doubt but highly irrelevant.

I very much enjoyed his first class and was quite impressed with his teaching style until a point came when he said that he does not practise favouritism. 'Anak Datuk ke anak menteri ke.. Semua saya layan sama saja'. Again, he mentioned about the anak-anak VIP but I just brush it off thinking that he meant well. After all, pilih kasih is never good. Good for you sir, I thought.

During the second class, we somehow arrived at the topic of politics during our discussion. As if on cue, he said with a huge grin on his face 'Tapi ni politik... so tak nak la cakap kan'. O... so someone in the class hails from a political family la... Again I brushed it off. I did wonder who but being slightly nyanyuk, I soon forget.

Finally, a week after the 2nd class, my lecturer could not control his excitement longer and decided to 'come clean' with us. I can't remember how the conversation started but it went something like this, 'Anak Datuk tapi tak tulis pon 'Datuk'(title) kat nama bapak dia' as he lifted the attendance list from his table. He paused and scanned the room. Perhaps he had hoped that it would give a dramatic effect. I don't know what the others' reaction were as I was busy staring blankly at him. An then he told us. 'Ooo... ' My friend and I said in unison. 'Patut la pandai' I thought. Haha.

The guy is very well-read. He talks passionately and eloquently, a trait I suspect inherited from his very infamous father. He takes after his mother in the looks department though, which is not necessarily a bad thing as I'm not sure how he would fair if he takes after the father. He's not handsome but decent looking, fair- skinned. Sejuk jugak la mata memandang kot. I was practically amazed that this person knew so much. My friend was already smitten by him during the first class. I mean, who doesn't like smart guys la?

So, finally we knew who is this person that got my lecturer into a frenzy. While it can't be said whether his intention was to just share information or for a litle bit of limelight seeking(he did also mention about a call that he had made to another offspring of a VIP whose name I have forgotten), I would prefer to just think of it as the former. After all, it's never apropriate to think badly of others, no? Not without a good and concrete reason that is. :P

Hellish holes

There's a hole in my heart, figuratively speaking that is. I feel - empty. I don't know why. These past few days have been rather unfulfilling. I don't know whether it's due to the mundane activities that I've been doing since the start of the holidays or because of something else. I just feel unmotivated. I'm sure all of you are no stranger to this little odd feeling. I'm no stranger to it myself. My first encounter with it was during high school if, I'm not mistaken. I don't think I even understand how emptiness is suppose to feel like when I was in primary school.

Anyway, I was in Form 5(Betanians I miss you... that includes 4 Betanians). One fine day, out of the blue, I felt empty. I have no idea why. I don't think it was boredom because boredom and emptiness are two very different things. Without thinking, I asked my friend who was sitting beside me 'Kau pernah rasa kosong tak?'. The friend, who also happens to be the monitor replied 'Mesti lah pernah,' and that was it. Clearly the story book that she was reading was much, much more interesting than my question. Why woudn't it be when it had the title '6 Reasons to Stay a Virgin'. Pretty catchy isn't it? But the story was not great anyway. I only liked the cover of the book.

I just brushed the whole thing of after that very insightful thought from Miss Monitor ;) . I suppose I did give some thought to it but not much. SPM was more important, no? So it ended there. I entered college the following year and I must say I was happy. I was happy with how things are going - my classes, friends, just about everything of my life although there are a few glitches here and there. I thought I was fine until recently jeng, jeng, jeng... 'it' came back. That weird little feeling. What? Why? How? I asked but I couldn't find the answer. I suppose I haven't prayed hard enough. That reminds me of a character named Rosa from the 1995 movie Sabrina (not Sabrina the teenage witch). Rosa was one of the maids to the wealthy Larrabees. There was this scene where all the maids where congregating in the kitchen. The chauffeur's daughter, Sabrina, had sent a letter from Paris and so the chauffeur was reading it to them. Everyone was certain that Sabrina was unhappy, living all alone in Paris. At one point, Rosa was relating her story of how she felt when she first arrived in America:

'Mr. Tom, maybe is not for me to put my hands in on this, but when I first come to this country, I am alone, like Sabrina. I just weigh more. So I ask to God why I am here. I say, "Why God?" but there is no answer. So I stop crying. It takes eleven years!'

Haha. This movie really has some of the most funny and witty lines. I don't know how many times I've watched it. And so, yes, I still haven't found the answer. I sure hope it won't take 11 years but if it does, than there's nothing I can do. In the mean time, I shall continue 'filling' this particular 'hole' by watching movies. (Unless interesting suggestions pop up. Anyone?) I've recently watched Sylvia, a depressing but insightful movie nevertheless, starring Gwyneth Paltrow and the lovely Daniel Craig although he looks awful in this one. It's the hair I tell you. And I also had the opportunity of watching Drag me to Hell which was more hillarious than hellish. Seriously, don't watch it. It was so crappy that it made me laugh and I was the only one laughing in the cinema. I was waiting to get scared for God's sake! I should've trusted the reviewers and watched Transformers again with my family. Or maybe The Third House on the Left. Read that it was good in The Star.

Ultimate Blankness

A dark cloud has descended upon me
Sending me into a state of ultimate blankness

So here I lay waiting and
Hoping to regain consciousness

KPI...Ring a bell?

A word caught my eye while I was scanning the front page of today's The Star. I'd just reached home from my hostel and as usual served my father tea along with whatever kueh he'd bought (lately it has been goreng pisang and cucur keledek) before plopping myself on one of the chairs at the dining table to read the newspaper.

On the page is of course the media's agenda of the day, Najib's new cabinet line-up. Although I am interested in this bit of news (I am actually quite fond of politics although my knowledge on the subject is rather limited), I was actually drawn to this 3 lettered word that is printed on the newspaper. The familiarity of the word caught me by surprise that I actually felt quite happy because...well, I know what that word means. Haha. Look at me. Getting all excited over a bloody word. What a nerd... or should I say 'geek'? Miss Kedah and Madu Berdarah has taken the liberty of calling me 'geek' because I am usually the last to leave the examination hall among the 3 of us. What a compliment.

Right, so the word. The word that got me psyched was 'KPI'. Haha. Well to the uninitiated, KPI stands for Key Performance Indicator. Those of you who are with me in PR Principles would of course know this. Thank you Ms Vaneetha for your highly animated teaching style. I remember things easier.Haha. Anyway, KPI is a measurable indicator of your organization's etc. progress towards achieving your mission. So basically Najib will be focusing on the performance of his band of army which I think is a very good move. Whoever is not doing their job would have to pick up the slack or risk getting the boots. Yes, I know I sound pro- Najib at the moment. Haha.What can I say, I'm quite the optimist. My friends absolutely despise him though. I've been hearing many, many ugly things about him but you know what? I'm just going to wait and see what he has in store for us. Anticipation is fun, no?

Madu Berdarah's file

*By the way, I am still not satisfied with how I answered my PR paper. Bang! Bang! Ba-get-ty Bang! Bang! Bang... Bang... Hehe

Change is Inevitable

Change is inevitable.
It can either be horrible or pleasurable
and is not always predictable.

Change is inevitable.
I can only hope that
it will be bearable.

Go and Make Love People!

I don't know if any of you believe this but underneath all this blurness and confusion that has always surround me is actually a girl who loves simple things and just wants to be loved. OK, OK I know CORNY! Yucks! Yucks! Right? Lol. Well, anyway that I am. I'm a hopeless romantic. I get all teary eyed watching love stories (I cried while watching Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham.Lol. Not sure I did while I was watching Titanic though). I get all mushy and 'emo' (haha) whenever I hear songs that has anything to do with l.o.v.e. And I just go 'Sigh... Isn't that sweet...' whenever I see people doing something for their loved ones. I'm not saying this because it's Valentine's Day. Mwahaha... I just feel like expressing. Hehe. So, anyway.. To those who are planning to splurge for your significant other... well, good luck with that. Haha. Things ain't cheap nowadays. Of course you could always D.I.Y. What the hell. Go buy chocolates. Who can resist them? I know I won't mind having some. Hehe. To those who have splurged... Well, congratulations mate! More to come next year.

Alright, go ahead and make love. ;)
Enjoy Your Day People.

To those who know me,
Thank you for making my life worthwhile .
I love you.

My Token of Appreciation

I've always wondered how it feels like to be a housewife. No, I'm not kidding. Ever since I was a child I've wondered a few times (not always haha) what it was like to be cleaning and cooking and taking care of your family. (Don't ask me why because I don't have a definitive answer. Perhaps it is just my nature. I love to think. But often the questions that I've concocted in my head go unanswered. Hmm.) Well, for the past almost 3 months ago, I've been doing just that and I must say I now have a total respect for all mothers and women in general who painstakingly do the aforementioned tasks(and more of course). Oh, and let's not forget the single dads and stay-at-home dads.

It's not that I've never cooked or swept before. In fact, I do that every semester break and whenever I don't have assignments. It's just that, this time around I have a more sense of appreciation towards life especially the little tiny inny-minny(lol) minuscule things in life. I feel blessed. I now realize just how hard my mother is working... how much my two sisters have grown.. how my grandmother truly love all of us and how my father hides his worries with a smile. I didn't realize how much I was missing all this while while I've been in college. I do come back during the weekends but I guess I just get caught up with my assignments and studies too much. I do realize that I'm lucky. At least, I have the privilege of going back home to my family eventhough if it's only for 2 days. Some people have to endure long periods of seperation. It's funny how we sometimes forget just how wonderful life is.

I truly am blessed and I thank God for that.

Kematangan

Kematangan. Sesuatu yang sukar untuk diperjelaskan apatah lagi digambarkan. Maksudnya sudah tentu saja terdapat dalam mana-mana kamus Dewan Bahasa tetapi maksud perkataan itu pastinya berbeza buat setiap individu. Bukan begitu? Entahlah. Tapi yang pasti kematangan tidak boleh diukur oleh umur kerana orang yang telah lanjut usianya pon belum tentu lagi matang pemikirannya. Minda belum merdeka. Haha. Klise sungguh bunyinya. Tetapi inilah hakikat. Kematangan itu terbentuk apabila kedua-dua otak dan hati digunakan untuk berfikir. Kematangan itu lahir apabila keputusan yang dibuat bukan mengikut hawa nafsu semata-mata. Dan kematangan itu akan lebih menyerlah apabila seseorang itu mengakui kesilapan diri, bukan menuding jari dan terus merperbaiki diri. Tiada siapa yang sempurna di dunia ini. Oleh sebab itu, jadikan kesilapan semalam pengajaran buat hari ini dan hari-hari berikutnya. Aku sendiri tidak pasti jika aku ini telah matang tetapi aku yakin... Aku lebih matang dari semalam.

I hope this is a STRAIGHT to the point post.

One of the few tv ads that have caught my attention was the New Straits Times ad about secondary school boys who belittled their friend who was reading an English newspaper(NST of course) on the bus. After watching it, I couldn't help feeling a bit flabbergasted. Lol. Pardon the choice of words. Do people (us,Malaysians to be precise) in this modern era still view the English language negatively? Looking at the ad, I suppose there are still a few of us who feel that way. My guess is that they have yet to realize how important the language is. People need to understand that being proficient in both writen and spoken English is no longer a mark of 'how far up you are in the social class' but a NECESSITY if one wishes to survive in this ever competitive world of ours. Where would 'You straight... you don't belok-belok' lead you? Certainly not to the path of riches and glory. LOL.

So, back to the ad. The ad reminded me of myself approximately 10 years ago whe I was in primary school. I first received my primary education at a private primary school in KL. Naturally, I could speak in English fairly well as everyone used it. This is not to say that I am absolutely useless when it comes to BM because I do speak in Bahasa Malaysia at home especially to my grandma. She speakes in loghat utara some more! So, hampa jangan kuang ajaq na...sat ni aku bubuh cabai dalam mulut baru hampa tau! Lol.

One fine day in the month of May, my parents(I suspect my grandma was also involved in this) decided to transfer me to a sekolah kebangsaan. I was in standard two at that time. I'm not quite sure what made them do it but I think it was because of the longer school hours at the private school. And so I went there. The school was also much closer to my home. I guess I adapted pretty well for a new kid because I don't remember getting into trouble with the other kids in my class. Either that or my memory has indeed gone faulty. I think I prefer the afforementioned statement. Hehe.

Everything when well until I decided to talk in English. Immediately, a few of the girls in my class hissed at me and my other friend. Both of us were merely doing what we were told to by our English teacher (whose name I've forgotten) which was to practise speaking in English. 'Eleh... speaking konon'. I don't remember if I had actually reacted to their statement but given my shy and non-agressive nature, I suppose I didn't. Yup, I'm not much of a fighter. But the weird thing is, none of these girls (may I call them bitches?lol) have any problems coming up to me whenever they have problems with their English homework. Haih...humans..

So thanks to you girls my English has deteriorated! Lol. Joking. Joking. I fully hold myself accountable because unlike you people, I am an angel. LOL. No matter, all is not lost. I will continue to improve my grasp of the language for as long as my memory is intact.

*Rumput is ashamed to admit that she has never been to the National Monument. She has also yet to reach rumah Cik Maimon.